There is simply no way to put into words the pain and horror of having your kitty disappear out of thin air!
On Sunday June 13th at dusk Pacific time I opened the door to take out the trash. Nandi as if he had an adrenaline shot stormed out of the door that was opened no more than his body could fit in the blink of an eye. I knew it would be dangerous as many of you know small pets are not secure outside especially at night in todays world. There are countless dangers in the wild, especially if the animal is a house pet or in my case an indoor kitty.
Nandi was a Seal Point Siamese male kitty just short of ten months old. His name was derived from two very influential men from India. Paramahansa Yogananda, known as the first bridge from the east to the west, was a Hindu Monk, Yogi and Guru who introduced millions to the teachings of meditation and the healing and enlightening Kriya Yoga. The other was Mahatma Gandhi an Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, and political ethicist, best known for effectively using nonviolent resistance to lead the successful campaign for India’s independence from British rule and in turn inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. I would say that combination was quite the fit for our Nandi.
Nandi was found in Tahachapi, California under a bush while not more than a few weeks old. The women who found him fed him with an eye dropper to keep him alive. She called him Rocky and said he was feisty and a real survivor. I had been looking for a Siamese kitten for three months. When I first saw Rocky he was so tiny and his points were this adorable dark seal triangular shaped face and ears the rest of him was-very light. I believe what made him stand out from all the others was his tiny body and the cutest expression on his face I just fell in love with him. I decided that was the kitty for us and I called the Tahachapi adoption agency. He was still too young to adopt so we waited a few more weeks. Nobody was really sure how old he was exactly they speculated four to five weeks old.
We drove up to Tahachapi in mid October, 2020 to pick him up and take him home to become part of our family. He was a joy, so tiny he could fit in the palm of our hand. Of course we had to spoil him with lots of toys, a scratch board, all natural litter made from walnut shells and an all natural dry kitten food that was his favorite.
As the days went by we felt Rocky was not appropriate for this little guy and that’s when we decided on Nandi. It didn’t take long for him to know his new name and although our RV travel trailer was small, early on he was seemingly happy in it.
During each month we found such joy and company playing and training Nandi. He took well to training and learning the word no. However the word no became a game and if you know anything about Siamese cats they are smart as a whip, cleaver overly curious, and love a lot of attention. When it was time to bring Nandi to the vet for shots they determined he was born around the first week in September they estimated this by the growth of his baby teeth. It was decided the 5th of each month would be a reminder of Nandi’s birthday.
As Nandi grew he discovered he had claws and, as he began to understanding their uses, soon he was tearing into practically everything - including us. Often, as I walked from the kitchen to the bathroom he would would grab the opportunity to use my legs as he would a tree. “OUCH no Nandi, NO!”
Clearly, he understood the reasons for his verbal reprimands, however, no matter how sternly said, he generally ignored all no’s directed his way. Nandi definitely had a mind of his own which in time led to more than a little temper. Whenever he didn’t get his own way he would become naughty Nandi. After the new year Nandi was quickly growing he learned how far and high he could leap and jump. He knew the growing power of his back legs, which he’d use like a Jack rabbit to launch himself twirling into the air. He loved to play with toys on a string, especially catching them by leaping remarkably high - if need be - to meet the challenge.
New difficulties increased as he grew and his desire for far greater territory to run, roam and explore, and clearly he’d outgrown his surroundings. If he lived in a home with two floors and a basement, he would have had room to run, roam and explore, or perhaps hide, escaping the increasing “no’s.” The larger he became, the more obvious it was he needed MUCH more space, if he were to remain an indoor cat. Nandi also had a very defined, defiant and destructive side, which clearly came out whenever he didn’t get his way. Similar to a spoiled two year old child, at times he’d jump where he shouldn’t or begin clawing furniture, despite three scratch boards he seemed to love. Keenly aware of when we were angered by something he’d done, he’d often start out to do even more damage, a case could be made he did so out of spite. It was then that we determined Nandi was a menace to society! He never was very affectionate or lovable, if you put your hand out to pat him gently, he would try and bite it. When he first came home with us, he seemed to enjoy being held and loved. While still growing, he became less and less affectionate and it was impossible to cuddle with him anymore. Playful, yes he was always game for that, however, he was becoming less and less interested in even his most favorite toys and games.
His personality was increasingly withdrawn, he became cold toward us - unless hungry - and he never physically expressed love for us. God only knows how he ended up in a bush while very young, perhaps there’s a genetic connection and his family was always in the wild. There were times when I wore a particular woolly top which he would suck on while kneading with his paws like he would do with his mother. A strictly inherent act, as we know he never experienced this natural instinct and closeness with his mother so I let him enjoy the comfort.
Nandi showed all the signs of having an unnatural experience as a new born with his mother. The closeness, his mothers way of cleaning him, sucking for his food, smelling her scent and the entire nurturing process that happens with six to eight weeks of being with his mother and siblings. I contribute his behavior, in part at least, to being separated from his mother while so young, never knowing or understanding how important it was for him to have a mother.
Over the past few months Nandi seemed increasingly unhappy, he seemingly felt caged in and desperately wanted to explore the outdoors, which he watched daily through windows. This was unsettling as I knew the dangers that lurked in the night. He was supposed to be an indoor cat that is how we were training him. We were making plans to move and live in a much larger dwelling full of space. My husband was planning on building him a long pole with a perch so he could climb to the top and be king over the land!
By the end of May on Memorial weekend my husband was scheduled to have surgery he’d been hoping one day would be possible for nearly 25 years - then put on hold due to Covid. When we had to go to Stanford for the long awaited operation, Nandi had to be put in a boarding home. I paid for the luxury boarding package that included a room with a view and scheduled daily playtime. We were gone eight days and when we arrived to pick Nandi up the girl said, “thank God your home Nandi was crying and wouldn’t eat I think he is homesick.” I didn’t realize how much he hated being confined because before the surgery we had to go up to Stanford to meet with the surgeon, we were gone only five days. Nandi’s first experience with boarding seemed to be fine when we picked him up he even acted like he missed us. However, this second time around he came home different.
On May 13th we were preparing for another trip to Stanford for a post operative follow up, however, this time we were planing on taking Nandi with us. On that fateful Sunday we were preparing to leave for the third time and Nandi was jumping in and out of the bags as if knew what was happening around him. Siamese are so intelligent that I wouldn’t put it pass him that possibility of leaving him again was inevitable. That evening at dusk, my husband was trying to keep Nandi pre-occupied however, when the door opened he scratched himself free and boulted out in 3 or 4 leaps to make his escape! We tried every trick in the book to get him back inside as it was getting dark and I feared him being outside, especially at night. For hours he frolicked under trailers next to, or quite near us, this was an entirely new, enlightening experience for him and he wasn’t interested in coming back in. I knew it was dangerous and he was inexperienced exposing himself in the street with light lanterns decorating the park. There are many trees, bushes, grassy areas and flower beds surrounding the park the gate on one side of the park is easy for a small animal to pass through and there are large birds of pray, skunks and coy-dogs lurking about.
It was getting very late and we put his food on the top step and kept the door opened. It was now 1:30 am and my husband went back outside calling him, looking under trailers nearly the rest of the night, never seeing or hearing anything the park was silent. The next morning, Monday the 14th I flew out of bed grabbed my robe and searched the park yelling and screaming his name, I would not let up as I was crazy with fear. We had to leave no later than 9:00 am in order to drive four and a half hours to make the appointment. We talked to our neighbors, filed a report with the police, warned the front office of his disappearance reporting Nandi missing we did everything possible before we left the park. We were sick and heartbroken having to leave with no answers and no sight of Nandi anywhere. While at Stanford I called the park asking if anyone reported seeing, finding or taking him in for safety, sadly there had not been any such report!
We arrived home on Thursday afternoon, again there was still no trace of Nandi. Five nights had gone by since Nandi’s disappearance and Southern California was hit the worst heat wave in history along with a severe drought. Temperatures rose on Monday the day we left to 104, 107 and 110 degrees Fahrenheit for eight consecutive days with lows in the 90’s and no water except sprinkler systems in the park. The chances for Nandi who had been sheltered every night since we first brought him home, enduring this daily dry heat, were not favorable. We heard stories of wild animals seen suffering and possible fatalities among people without air-conditioning, especially the elderly and homeless. The city of Bakersfield, CA is slowly becoming filled with oil wells refineries and is now known for having about the most polluted air in all of California. The heat made the extremely poor air quality even more dangerous and many people were ill from it, along with reports of heat stroke, dehydration and heart failure. Between the blazing hot sun, breezy hot air, crumpled dry grass, stepping out from air conditioning felt like opening a hot oven door.
The final stages were the most difficult for me. Collecting all of Nandi’s belongings and putting them away or giving them to the local SPCA animal shelter. We cried for days we couldn’t imagine how he vanished without a trace! All kinds of horrible thoughts went through my mind thinking the worst possible fate. I became physically and emotionally ill over it and had to stay in bed. Our Nandi was really gone…
All I can say is that although Nandi was only a nine month old kitty, the unexpected, shocking loss is very difficult to accept. I cannot imagine a mother loosing a child without a trace, it is unbearable to think of. Living with such uncertainty, countless unanswered questions, wondering, waiting, forever hoping, without the slightest closure or clarity, nobody should ever be left with such anguish and emotional pain. We’re left with the fact that over time we will learn to accept the reality that we once had a beautiful, rescued Siamese kitty we loved dearly that vanished in the night. “The Nandi Man” will be cherished in our memories forever….
Donna N Jeff
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